Stacey & Lauri Grametbaur
We are forgiven and set free, not because of anything we did but because of what Jesus did for us!
His
"At the age of 18, I met my now wife, and we dated on and off for about a year; we found ourselves with an unplanned pregnancy. I immediately told her that we would get married. While there were many other difficult areas of my life at this time, I headed off into a new marriage, hoping that my issues with lust, family, and life would be solved. In our first seven years of marriage, we had five kids and were very involved in the local church. While there were amazing things and tremendous memories to celebrate during this time, it was also then that my heart began to drift away from God. I was not abiding with Him as I should, and with that drift, my heart began to grow cold.
"Twelve years into our marriage, I had an affair. I felt so ashamed and feared that I would lose everything I had cared about and worked hard to achieve. I was broken and felt like God could never use me after what I had done-all I felt was guilt and shame. I totally destroyed my wife's world when my affair was exposed. Even though I had wounded her and she felt the betrayal of my actions, she offered me mercy. I was willing to do whatever it took to make it up to her. I realized how my selfishness not only hurt me; it also hurt my wife, our family, and our friends. I knew that God had forgiven me of my sin of the affair and did find freedom not having to keep my sin hidden anymore. Although I had experienced some freedom after my affair, I still tried to control the lust and pornography-failing often. I believed that if people (especially my wife) knew the real me, they would reject me.
"We left the church and, over the next five years, decided to focus more on our family. While focusing on family may sound good, that decision was not a healthy one. We needed more of God, not less.
Hers
"Our marriage was in a good place during our first 12 years of marriage. But, around our twelfth anniversary, my world was turned upside down when I learned that my husband was being unfaithful. I was devastated. Though he was immediately repentant, it was an excruciating time in our marriage. I was angry, hurt, and confused. My heart and faith grew cold, and I became jaded and bitter towards the church and God. Over time, my heart became harder, colder, and more calloused. When temptation came, it was easy to give in, and I found myself in my first affair. The sin that had brought such pain to me, I was now committing myself. I was angry at God, others, and myself. I felt completely lost.
"For the next several years, we skipped around to different churches. Wounded and hurt, we struggled to commit anywhere. We were so off track. I continued to step outside of marriage and had multiple affairs. So much of my life had become a lie, and it was exhausting. The shame and guilt were overwhelming at times, and I tried to make better choices, but time and time again, I would find myself in the same situations.
Ours
"Then we landed at the Springs. As we finally committed to a church, our hearts began to soften again. We had longed for a place where people were real about their struggles and sins and where it was okay not to be okay. At the Springs, for the first time, we realized that church was bigger than just attendance, but actually being the church and living out the One Another's of Scripture together. As we began to move toward God, true to His promises, He began to run towards us (James 4:8).
"We attended a church conference with the Springs, where we heard a speaker share her story of adultery, confession, repentance, and redemption. After this, Lauri confessed her adultery for the first time. While it felt like our whole world was collapsing, the only shred of hope that we held onto was knowing that there were finally no more secrets between us. We were finally in the light, and in the light, we both began to feel freedom. God was changing us. But God was not done working. God began to really use our Community Group to help us. We had been attending the Springs for two years, but that was the first time where we actually started to slowly become a biblical community for one another. In addition to that, Lauri and I both began attending and then serving in re:generation.
"There have been some heavy, hard days, but we can tell you that God has walked every step with us. The benefits of obedience far outweigh the consequences of living with sin. Our church family here at the Springs has helped us to learn that God is for us, not against us; they have fought for our marriage, for our family, and for our relationships with Jesus, reminding us time and time again that He wants to set us free from sin and the death it brings. We are forgiven and set free, not because of anything we did but because of what Jesus did for us!"
"At the age of 18, I met my now wife, and we dated on and off for about a year; we found ourselves with an unplanned pregnancy. I immediately told her that we would get married. While there were many other difficult areas of my life at this time, I headed off into a new marriage, hoping that my issues with lust, family, and life would be solved. In our first seven years of marriage, we had five kids and were very involved in the local church. While there were amazing things and tremendous memories to celebrate during this time, it was also then that my heart began to drift away from God. I was not abiding with Him as I should, and with that drift, my heart began to grow cold.
"Twelve years into our marriage, I had an affair. I felt so ashamed and feared that I would lose everything I had cared about and worked hard to achieve. I was broken and felt like God could never use me after what I had done-all I felt was guilt and shame. I totally destroyed my wife's world when my affair was exposed. Even though I had wounded her and she felt the betrayal of my actions, she offered me mercy. I was willing to do whatever it took to make it up to her. I realized how my selfishness not only hurt me; it also hurt my wife, our family, and our friends. I knew that God had forgiven me of my sin of the affair and did find freedom not having to keep my sin hidden anymore. Although I had experienced some freedom after my affair, I still tried to control the lust and pornography-failing often. I believed that if people (especially my wife) knew the real me, they would reject me.
"We left the church and, over the next five years, decided to focus more on our family. While focusing on family may sound good, that decision was not a healthy one. We needed more of God, not less.
Hers
"Our marriage was in a good place during our first 12 years of marriage. But, around our twelfth anniversary, my world was turned upside down when I learned that my husband was being unfaithful. I was devastated. Though he was immediately repentant, it was an excruciating time in our marriage. I was angry, hurt, and confused. My heart and faith grew cold, and I became jaded and bitter towards the church and God. Over time, my heart became harder, colder, and more calloused. When temptation came, it was easy to give in, and I found myself in my first affair. The sin that had brought such pain to me, I was now committing myself. I was angry at God, others, and myself. I felt completely lost.
"For the next several years, we skipped around to different churches. Wounded and hurt, we struggled to commit anywhere. We were so off track. I continued to step outside of marriage and had multiple affairs. So much of my life had become a lie, and it was exhausting. The shame and guilt were overwhelming at times, and I tried to make better choices, but time and time again, I would find myself in the same situations.
Ours
"Then we landed at the Springs. As we finally committed to a church, our hearts began to soften again. We had longed for a place where people were real about their struggles and sins and where it was okay not to be okay. At the Springs, for the first time, we realized that church was bigger than just attendance, but actually being the church and living out the One Another's of Scripture together. As we began to move toward God, true to His promises, He began to run towards us (James 4:8).
"We attended a church conference with the Springs, where we heard a speaker share her story of adultery, confession, repentance, and redemption. After this, Lauri confessed her adultery for the first time. While it felt like our whole world was collapsing, the only shred of hope that we held onto was knowing that there were finally no more secrets between us. We were finally in the light, and in the light, we both began to feel freedom. God was changing us. But God was not done working. God began to really use our Community Group to help us. We had been attending the Springs for two years, but that was the first time where we actually started to slowly become a biblical community for one another. In addition to that, Lauri and I both began attending and then serving in re:generation.
"There have been some heavy, hard days, but we can tell you that God has walked every step with us. The benefits of obedience far outweigh the consequences of living with sin. Our church family here at the Springs has helped us to learn that God is for us, not against us; they have fought for our marriage, for our family, and for our relationships with Jesus, reminding us time and time again that He wants to set us free from sin and the death it brings. We are forgiven and set free, not because of anything we did but because of what Jesus did for us!"